Fletcher Best is an American author of humorous fiction and science fiction. He is the author of the Stranded In Time series of science fiction novels, including Pirates of the Storm, The Corpornation, and the upcoming third installment, Timeless. His humorous works include Sniffing Out Stink Ape, The Great Chupacabra Kerfuffle, and The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker.
In addition to his novels, Fletcher Best also writes short stories that are published exclusively for the enjoyment of visitors to his website, FletcherBest.com. These include the popular, Manatee Vengeance – Blood at the Boat Launch, Alien Invasion of the Zombie Apocalypse, Operation Black Friday, and A Fabulous Business Opportunity.
Born in Miami, Florida, Fletcher has lived in Texas since 1988. He (or more correctly, his real-life alter-ego George Best) attended Parker College of Chiropractic in Dallas before beginning a chiropractic practice in San Antonio in 1992. He has resided in San Antonio ever since and now lives in sin with his girlfriend and their 4 cats (the sin being strictly with the girlfriend, not the cats).
Readers are invited to connect with Fletcher through his website at http://www.FletcherBest.com.
Part of the idea for The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker was from seeing an episode of Anthony Bourdain’s travel show that was exploring Tokyo in which the subject of tentacle porn was discussed. I also had happened to read an article online about reports of freshwater octopi in lakes in Oklahoma, so from those two ideas, the book was born.
Is this your first published book and if so, can you tell us your experiences in finding a publisher for it?
It is not my first published book, but all of my books are self-published. I actually have not tried to find a traditional publisher because self-publishing is so easy and the opportunities for self-published authors are probably as good if not better than with traditional publishers these days. If I were to be approached by a publisher, I would consider contracting with one, but it’s not something I’m seeking out.
Where do you live and if I were coming to town, where would we go to talk books?
I live in San Antonio, Texas. If we were to go talk books, I’d probably suggest heading down to one of the places on the River Walk to get something to eat and people-watch.
When you’re not writing, what do you do to relax and have fun?
I enjoy fishing and hiking as my primary leisure activities.
Do you make a living off your books or do you have another job?
In addition to being a writer, I am a doctor of chiropractic and have a part time practice. I also maintain a membership website that offers guidance to people suffering with sciatica.
In your opinion, what makes a good book great?
I think it comes down to whether it elicits a significant emotional response. If a book repeatedly causes the reader to experience something emotional enough that an outside observer could recognize it, whether it be tears, laughter, smiling, goosebumps, or any other visible or audible reponse, then it’s a great book.
Psychologists tell us the thing we think we’d most like to grow up to be when we’re ten years old is our avocation. What did you want to be?
I really don’t think I knew what I wanted to be when I was ten. When I was a younger child, I of course fantasized about a lot of the usual things like being a fireman or an astronaut, but as I approached puberty, I really didn’t have a clear idea. I had an interest in science and nature, and I briefly considered being a marine biologist, but that gave way to an interest in health care and eventually to me going to chiropractic school.
Can you give us a short excerpt from your book?
Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 2 (Reader Advisory: Contains profanity and sexuality):
She stood up and slipped off her lab coat. Just removing the coat made her feel half-naked, as it was a nearly constant component of her attire. With it off she felt freer and more like Helga than she did her usual buttoned-down Dr. Braun identity. In any event, she knew that the bright white fabric of the coat would stand out from the trees and would tend to give her away as she watched the festivities in the lake, so she always left it behind when going out on her voyeuristic jaunts. She quietly made the short hike through the trees to the top of the hill that overlooked the cove. Below her she could see a young couple splashing around in the clear water of the lake.
Just as she got in position for a good view, the young man exclaimed, “Shit! I forgot to text my mom to tell her when I’d be home. I better do that or she’s going to throw a hissy fit. I’ll be right back.”
“Whatever,” his female partner in crime replied with some irritation.
Dr. Braun watched as the young man made his way to the side of the lake and admired his naked muscular body as he hobbled up the rocky bank to slip on his shoes.
“Where are you going?” his annoyed girlfriend asked as he headed up through the trees, his erection bouncily pointing the way.
“I left my phone in the truck,” he replied over his shoulder as he continued up the bank.
“Well hurry up!” the girl said with a sigh as she closed her eyes and laid back in the water to float, exposing her breasts and a hint of her pubic area below the ripples of the water to Helga’s prying eyes. “I’m going to have to stop dating high school boys,” the girl muttered.
Though very attractive, the nude girl had nowhere near the effect on Helga that Betty Joe had even fully clothed, and Helga noticed that the boyfriend held much more appeal to her. Maybe I’m not a lesbian after all, Helga mused. Maybe it was something about Betty Joe. As she considered the question of her sexuality, she spotted some movement in the water next to the girl. She hoped it was just a fish, but she feared it was not. In a moment, her fears were confirmed as a large, sucker-covered tentacle reached out of the water towards the girl.
“No, Octavio!” Helga pleaded quietly under her breath. She watched with a combination of horror and prurient curiosity as the huge octopus reached around the girl and slid a tentacle between her legs, while two others found their way to her breasts.
“Mmmm!” she moaned, her eyes still closed. “Welcome back. Uhhh! Maybe I misjudged you Caaaaarl!” the girl gasped with pleasure as the creature worked its magic on her most sensitive areas. Her breathing quickened and she writhed in pleasure. “Oh… MY… GOD!” she screamed out in ecstasy. “Where did you learn how to do thaaaat?!” she moaned.
“What the FUCK?!!” Carl yelled out as he reached the shore and saw what was happening.
The girl opened her eyes and looked down at her body and screamed in a combination of pleasure and terror. “Help me, Carl! Get this thing off me!”
The boy kicked off his shoes and dove into the water. Just as he reached the girl, she screamed out and the tentacles slithered off her body as the creature departed to the depths of the lake.
“Where are you hurt, Julie?” Carl asked the girl in a panicky voice.
“I’m… I’m… not,” she replied as she caught her breath.
“But you screamed like you were in pain,” Carl said, helping Julie to the lake shore.
“That… wasn’t… pain,” Julie gasped. “I think it was an orgasm. I thought I’d had one before, but it was nothing like… that! And never that fast!” she said as she laid down on her back, still recovering from the aftershocks of her climax. “I don’t know what that thing was, but wow!”
Carl wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. “So… it didn’t hurt you. It just… played with you?”
“Pretty much,” Julie nodded recalling the sensations Octavio had produced in her body.
“But if I hadn’t been here, that thing could have killed you!” Carl said with alarm.
“And I would have died a happy woman,” Julie mumbled under her breath.
“What?” Carl asked.
“Nothing… I mean, thank God you were here to save me,” Julie replied half-heartedly, more intrigued than upset by what had just occurred.
What’s next for you?
I am working on the third installment in my science-fiction series, Stranded in Time and that will likely be the next book I publish. After that, I have some ideas for a new book that has some loose ties to The Eight Fingered Fiend of Lake Porker. It’s a completely new story, but there will be some character tie-ins. I also post new short stories on my website, FletcherBest.com, from time to time.
Win one of two $25 Amazon Gift Cards!